Help - Easily Used hardly Understood...

Hi,Guys am Teenager who is very shy guy who doesn't even know how to handle a social situation and I behave so girlish.I have face body shaming issues in my school from my so called 'FRIENDS'. Today I heard a news that a senior of my school committed a suicide. I don't know the reason but am sure of one thing that suicide in not a solution I have so many family issues and yes am making it public because am a teenager..And don't even think that I ever not tried to suicide....I HAVE a trillion of times... But after all those attempts I learned one thing..Which is Life is gift given to few earned by other...On first hearing his death news I got a shock then..When I started thinking that irrelevant to reason...Thing which he did he is wrong in it...And specially if the reason is related to a girl because life gives opportunites and if you end the life. How the fuck you are supposed to have those opportunities...Your parents are the gems.. Not the girls whom you met because 90% of people you see will disappear irrelevant to how much to you love them...I have my condolences to his family but no 1% Sympathy towards the guy....